Doc Barbara and the lonesome frog.

Although Doc Barbara's heart goes out (not literally of course - although you never know with her) to invertebrates for the most part, she has the welfare of lowly, spiny creatures very much at the centre of her core ethics, which are, let us remind ourselves: free speech, democracy, pure living and thick tights. She noticed that my frog was lonely and gave her acumen and mental stamina towards fixing the problem. What kind of chum would be therapeutic? 

He is doing his best.

At first, she provided a tortoise, thinking that slow, agreeable and undemanding company would buck him up, but he still looked very lonely.           

                               

A light bulb moment happened to her: diet. An epiphany. Flies are, perhaps, insufficient for a frog and bananas might be better. She recalled the saying:

Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.

It seemed to her fraught with undecipherable meaning and so she provided a bunch. Doc Barbara is accustomed to the world's seeming impervious to rational decoding. 

He does look a tad more cheerful.

Still she was not satisfied and wandered around the local ponds in her thick tights looking for more ranine companions. For the frog, not herself. Finally, she encountered a few chatting amicably together and, with Ciceronian rhetoric undiminished by her epic struggles, she persuaded them to move camp. Here is ours, rejuvenated and un-depressed with his new friends.

•                                    A merry group of frogs, with two babies for him to sing to.

Further Information on Lack of Frogs

   For two years, Doc Barbara has been concerned about the disappearance of frogs from her pond and even went so far as to hire a male model pin-up to encourage erotic amphibian activity. As you can see from this photo of a frogless pool, she has been unsuccessful, though the goldfish at the back looks suspiciously fat and well fed after a long winter.

   However, some progress has been made in tracking down the cause of the problem and a sighting of our alpha individual with his leg bandaged, obviously by an adoring female, has suggested to our heroine that he could be indisposed for a while. How the injury was caused remains cloaked in mystery but members of the local W.U.G. (Women's Undomesticated Group), long famed for their detective abilities, have offered to investigate. Meanwhile all we wish is that Froggie gets back on his feet and performs with zeal and gusto.

NEW EPISODE IN FROG SAGA

   Our regular readers (who increase daily by geometric progression) and who follow Doc Barbara's activities with avid interest, will recall that she used a sex-symbol model to encourage the reluctant frogs in her garden to mate. They were moved by the photo which showed that, after a night on duty, the pin-up creature was completely exhausted (see June issue).

   Here we show an unexpected result: Froggie seems to have found an inamorata of his own and has clearly taken pity on the bandaged ankle of the beloved. However, he seems to be taking the ethic of courtly love a little too far by playing himself the distant and unobtainable role usually attributable to the lady.  Doc Barbara informs us that she will discuss the matter with him before the Spring and we all hope that this latest development will improve the worrying situation in her pond.
   By the Editor of The Monmouthshire Mouthpiece

Reporter from the Brynbuga Beagle: I just can't wait!!! This is a matter of utmost amphibian importance. Does the beauteous lady have a foot missing? How does she hop? An easy conquest I'd say.

A young frog on one of Doc Barbara's new circular tea bags.