Friday, 18 March 2016

Doc Barbara's Spring Initiative

   At this time of year Doc Barbara experiences a sense of awakening and her brain teems with new ideas. We know our readers will be fascinated by her latest plan and so we sent our cub reporter to her house to hear more. (Our chief man was engaged on a vital investigation into a meticulously planned and daring theft of a small handbag from an unattended supermarket trolley.) 

   Doc Barbara, although not a Feminist since she has a deep suspicion of words ending in "ist", nevertheless wants to promote the cause of women. She would like female gardeners to plant their borders with flowers and shrubs bearing girls' names thus introducing a bond between humans and Nature. Conversely, she would like expectant mothers to consider calling their babies (perhaps not boys, however) by the names of such plants some of which we have pictured here for inspiration: Rose; Rosemary; Holly; Lavender; Daisy; Daffodil; Primrose and Iris for example. We support her in this and with the possibilities of Lilac and even Pyrocantha but we confess to doubts about Nettle, Borage and Blanket-weed.

Friday, 11 March 2016

Doc Barbara's Morning Bewilderment

   When Doc Barbara awoke this morning she was amazed and discombobulated to see this object at the end of her bed. For one moment terror struck our heroine but her habitual sang froid soon reasserted itself. Cold rationality took over and she invoked the example of Sherlock Holmes to give herself courage and to decipher and interpret what she was seeing. 

   Fortunately her eye soon rested on her discarded leotard on a nearby chair and, in a flash of inspiration, she deduced that she had forgotten to remove her Yoga socks the night before. She had been so exhausted with the effort of wrapping her right leg round her left hip and, indeed, recalling which was which, that she had fallen asleep almost immediately. We, of this newspaper, are delighted to report that no severe after shocks have affected her and that she is on course once again for yet more exploits.