Zounds but I am fed up of meeting on this blasted heath.

 

We asked Doc Barbara, as part of her epic endeavour to illustrate all of Shakespeare, to use her imagination and look beyond the box. Here she seems to have entered into the mind of one of the witches and invented a suitable quotation to match. We admire her sky-blue thinking but are unsure how the rest of the plays will stand up to this open-ended treatment.

For she hath played the strumpet in my bed

 

From The Monmouthshire Mouthpiece:

We asked Doc Barbara by phone to do a five-minute sketch of Othello's justification for murdering his wife, Desdemona.  From this result we wonder if she is becoming a little hard of hearing.

Her latest attempt

 

Despite Doc Barbara's evident admirable qualities this newspaper has to admit she has her critics, one of whom is the cynical editor of our sister paper, The Brynbuga Beagle. He challenged her to paint one of the prophecies from Macbeth and sent his own photographer to capture the result. She chose the one which promised security to the eponymous hero until a wood came to his castle: as we all know, the enemy cut down branches and carried them to disguise their numbers. When asked about her primitive canvas, she replied that she always thought there was an element of Dad's Army about this section of the drama. We must try her with something more imaginative and we do not rate his photographer either.

 

Emulating Picasso

   Doc Barbara is always on the lookout for new challenges and experiences and never thinks on the small scale, Recently she decided to illustrate all the works of Shakespeare starting with The Tempest as she likes to do things backwards for added interest and piquancy. The well known quotation about the isle being full of music stimulated her imagination but, unfortunately, not her latent artistic talents.This newspaper has, however,  every faith in her potential and will keep her many admirers up to date.

DOC BARBARA AND THE INTERACTIVE COW

   Wherever Doc Barbara goes she tries to bring vitality to her surroundings by her enthusiastic activities even though these may be entirely voluntary.and, in some unfortunate cases, unappreciated by onlookers.  Yet we, in this paper, the "Monmouthshire Mouthpiece", support her endeavours and are proud to publicise them by photographs and articles as exemplifying the best of our historic British spirit. Here she is demonstrating how a cow might have been milked in past centuries to those who do not understand rural life and, whilst Trafalgar Square may be an unusual choice of venue for such an exploit, she drew much interest and varied vocal responses (including relevant animal imitations) before the police arrived.

PHENOMENAL SUCCESS IN WORM TRAINING PROGRAMME

   Here we have a clear view of the advanced worm training patch after the incredible results of the first stage of teaching worms to pull fallen leaves into the soil by their stalks to make the ground more fertile. Despite the recent inclement weather, which deterred neither Doc Barbara nor her specially selected worms, all leaves were removed from both grassy and non-grassy areas. Visible in the rear is the stone construction from which the leader worm shouted instructions and encouragement to exhort his followers in their time-honoured occupation. Keen gardeners who would like advice on methodology should leave their questions: Doc Barbara will respond as soon as time permits as she expects an unprecedented rush of queries. This newspaper is proud to promote such a patriotic and worthwhile enterprise in the true historic spirit of British scientific experimentation.

DOC BARBARA'S WORM TRAINING PROGRAMME

   When Doc Barbara was at junior school, she learned that earthworms fertilise the soil by coming to the surface, finding the stem of a leaf and pulling it down, thus forming a neat spiral with organic matter for enrichment. However, she has recently noticed that the leaves are remaining where they fall and, with her advanced powers of ratiocination, she concluded that modern worms need extra training to do this. 

  Here is an exclusive photograph of the patch ready for preparation for senior worms, the cadets having started out on easier terrain. With exemplary thoroughness, she intends to point every leaf downwards with the stalk in the soil to show the technique and she hopes that parent worms will pass on this knowledge to their offspring. She also wishes that all gardeners would copy her example and train the new generation. It will ultimately be for the benefit of all mankind.