Sunday 28 April 2013

DOC BARBARA AND THE INTERACTIVE COW


   Wherever Doc Barbara goes she tries to bring vitality to her surroundings by her enthusiastic activities even though these may be entirely voluntary.and, in some unfortunate cases, unappreciated by onlookers.  Yet we, in this paper, the "Monmouthshire Mouthpiece", support her endeavours and are proud to publicise them by photographs and articles as exemplifying the best of our historic British spirit. Here she is demonstrating how a cow might have been milked in past centuries to those who do not understand rural life and, whilst Trafalgar Square may be an unusual choice of venue for such an exploit, she drew much interest and varied vocal responses (including relevant animal imitations) before the police arrived.

Monday 1 April 2013

PHENOMENAL SUCCESS IN WORM TRAINING PROGRAMME


   Here we have a clear view of the advanced worm training patch after the incredible results of the first stage of teaching worms to pull fallen leaves into the soil by their stalks to make the ground more fertile. Despite the recent inclement weather, which deterred neither Doc Barbara nor her specially selected worms, all leaves were removed from both grassy and non-grassy areas. Visible in the rear is the stone construction from which the leader worm shouted instructions and encouragement to exhort his followers in their time-honoured occupation. Keen gardeners who would like advice on methodology should leave their questions: Doc Barbara will respond as soon as time permits as she expects an unprecedented rush of queries. This newspaper is proud to promote such a patriotic and worthwhile enterprise in the true historic spirit of British scientific experimentation.